Tis the season to be jolly.....
I'm in mince pie mode..every year I end up making zillions of the little buggers and I am up to eyeballs in sweet, buttery pastry. So as a change, I make some mini chocolate brownies. I have a single session alone with Miss Delia today. We talk about and draw up my family tree which in itself is a mammoth task.  To my horror, in the midst of it all,  Miss Delia casually leans over and helps herself to a brownie. I stare in shock... The overwhelming sense of achievement I feel is a little worrying. All in all it's a very good session and I feel as though things are moving again but she does warn me that they are still considering putting our application on hold at some stage while LRUN gets used to the commuting thing. He is only due to start commuting at the end of February so who knows what will happen before then. I'm off to South Africa for Christmas to see my family and can't help thinking this could be the last time they see me without little ones...

tra-la-la-la-laaa

Yes!

A new friend.....
A friend introduces me to a new friend today. She lives just down the road, has previously adopted 3 boys from Suffolk Adoption Services and is well known to the Adoption team. I instantly warm to her over a bottle of Chenin Blanc in the local pub and we talk for hours about the reality of adoption. She is honest and funny and full of incredibly useful experience and information. We talk openly about parenting adoptive children and how different methods have helped her and her 3 boys. We cover backward facing prams, skin on skin contact, attachment, bonding and challenging behaviour.  We make plans to meet up again soon and I am ever grateful for my friend for thinking of me. When I mention her to Miss Delia in our next session, her eyes light up. She knows exactly who I am talking about and is delighted to hear we have been in contact. Massive brownie points to my friend for introducing her to me!

Confessing all to Miss Delia....
It doesn't go well. The disappointment in her face is overwhelmingly obvious. Even I can see she was thinking..oh this was going so well.  Our only saving grace is that we try and sell our best option of LRUN's commuting north on a daily basis as best we can and she desperately tries to accept it. She says she will have to discuss it with her line manager but the session is a gloomy one and we end on a sombre note. I am so stressed, I barely sleep. There is no option of him finding another job locally, we have to go with what we have. Our boss is overwhelmingly supportive and assures me they want to do whatever they can to help us.

Delia returns the following week to say that the authorities are wanting to put our application on hold until things settle down. I feel like screaming and crying but I somehow manage to hold it together. But she then explains that she has fought our corner as best she can and has got them to agree to continue with the assessment for now until further decisions have been made. She says we have huge potential and they would be shooting themselves in the foot by letting us go. She has a plan and she is clearly on our side. She says we need to focus on showing how I would cope if LRUN was away for an extra 4 hours a day commuting. Easy as far as I am concerned...that's just one less child to worry about. We all laugh but the seriousness of her comment sets in. Yes, it's going to be hard, very hard but we both want this so badly, we just have to make it work.