Going bananas with Miss Delia......
It's the most beautiful sunny spring day and with a bounce in my bosom-supported step (yup I'm feeling young again) we welcome Miss Delia into our home for one last session of home study. Feeling positive, I had whipped up a scrummy banana loaf with the added feel good factor of wholemeal flour and carefully lay four tantalising slices on the coffee table in front of her. It turns out to be an incredibly intensive meeting and we spend nearly 3 hours talking about disorders we would consider including foetal alcohol syndrome, drug abuse, mental health problems etc. As we break for me to make another much needed cup of tea, she lunges (yes...you heard me....lunges!) forward and grabs a piece of banana bread and I hear her say to LRUN, "Gosh this is really delicious" I grin like the proverbial Cheshire and instinctively do a little dance in the kitchen and hope no-ones looking apart from the dog. We talk alot about the matching process and how long it takes...around three months from when they first show you a profile until you actually get to meet the little angel. (Once again, Dear Mr. Cameron....please explain) She wraps up the session with the good news that she is still aiming to take us to panel to be approved as adopters in April. The subject of my husbands commuting will continue to be an issue to deal with after that. She asks me if I had considered how different things would be with a child with us....seriously Miss Delia, I have thought about nothing else. Everything I do now, I find myself thinking about how this would be with a little one in tow. I no longer blank the contents of the shelves in the baby aisle, I now even allow myself to look at the bedding for kiddy-winks in John Lewis. I need to tread carefully, as I have been here once before. With a pregnancy where the closer we got to the first scan, the more I allowed myself to believe and I stupidly allowed myself to believe that it was ok to buy my first mother and baby magazine. Sadly that pregnancy ended in a devastating 'no heartbeat' situation and I had to come home and toss that magazine into the recycling bin. I vowed never to do go there again.  So, this is emotionally a huge step for me. I am allowing myself to get excited about this. Oh please let this happen this year. I don't think I can face another Christmas playing Santa for the dog. ;-)

Wholemeal Banana Loaf