About Me

This blog is about me and my voyage to becoming a mummy. Ironically called “mummy in the baking” as together with my passion and obsession for all things cake related, I will never be able to have my own "bun in the oven." Years of fertility treatment have taken their toll and I now find myself on a new..eek, i hate this word...journey! The crazy train to adoption. I hope you will join me while I bake my way to becoming a mummy. I want this blog to be a source of information as well as a comforter. I hope it will inspire and help anyone who is considering adoption or who has in fact already bought their ticket for this..here I go again...journey. Cake makes me happy and I hope you will enjoy sharing my love of it. I want it to help lift your spirits and hearts through what can only be described as 'the trials and tribulations of the adoption process.' Along with my desire to be a family, I love my dogs, have an unhealthy love of sausages and chenin blanc, adore my land rover uber-nerd of a husband and continiously dream of balmy summer evenings. Baking in progress…..

Saturday, 18 July 2015

Go with the flow.....

Need I state the obvious? It's been ages since I last wrote. Why is it that sometimes in my little world the words flow faster than a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc and other times I look at this blog and feel fear. I guess it's an underlying worry of not being good enough or my words not coming out right. But I have to remember why I started this blog in the first place. These words only need to be right for me and LBM. This is our story. And if it helps others along the way, then hurrah, that's a bonus.

Our holiday feels a lifetime away. LBM's speech has come on leaps and bounds since we got back. They always say holidays spark a developmental spurt...hey, any excuse to book my next ticket now!  Not only are there real words, there are a couple of real sentences. "More cake please mummy" of course being his favourite. However, as he was helping me put my jeans on the other day, he quite blatantly said, "Ooh tight Mummy" I can honestly say I nearly decked him! We are continuing with the speech therapy for a little longer,  even if it does regularly empty the bank account. Incidentally he is still on the waiting list for the NHS funded therapy and has been since October last year. I am so pleased we decided to go private, as it is certainly helping. If anything, it helps LRUN and I with advice on how to help him and that's a big plus. Sure You-tube could teach me too but this feels right and he loves his therapist, which helps with his confidence and social anxieties, which I'm afraid are still lurking.

Spring time found me drafting the first contact letter to Tummy Mummy. A strange concept and a difficult one to get your head around. On the one hand I want to gloat and tell her how amazing he is but I wonder if this is appropriate. I come to the decision that no matter what I write, it will be difficult for her to process, so I simply tell the truth. I talk about his developmental delay and the challenges it presents. LRUN questions why I tell her but I feel she needs to know.  At the same time, I talk about the good stuff. He is in a big boy bed now and is also in the midst of potty training (Feck! No-one warned me how stressful this potty training is. Trips to the supermarket now find me nervously pushing all the shopping in trolley to the back, creating a void beneath all his orifices whilst simultaneously calculating the number of steps to the nearest loo! Poo did you say? You need a poo? No, just a pop-pop?? Thank feck for that. And breathe....!) I tell her he loves nursery, enjoys a good chatter and is obsessed with cake. I have to read and re-read to ensure I don't give away any tell tale details of location. She lives so close and according to the book of faces (yes, yes, I still stalk her..hangs head in shame) now works in my favourite take-away joint. Well, that should at least help with my impending 'tight jeans situation!' We sign the letter with our names rather than mummy and daddy and drop it in the post box. As of today, we are sadly still awaiting a reply. This is so hard, I really want her to reply as I feel LBM deserves it but then is it more because I don't want to have to have the conversation with him one day of explaining why she never replies? This is tough folks.

Despite the tight jeans, (can you tell yet I am truly panicking?) I am in search of a summer cake. Strawberries and cream are sooooo last year. Is there such a thing as a Pimms cake, I wonder?  Oh my word,  google tells me there is! Pop-pop? No, that's just my jeans button......