About Me

This blog is about me and my voyage to becoming a mummy. Ironically called “mummy in the baking” as together with my passion and obsession for all things cake related, I will never be able to have my own "bun in the oven." Years of fertility treatment have taken their toll and I now find myself on a new..eek, i hate this word...journey! The crazy train to adoption. I hope you will join me while I bake my way to becoming a mummy. I want this blog to be a source of information as well as a comforter. I hope it will inspire and help anyone who is considering adoption or who has in fact already bought their ticket for this..here I go again...journey. Cake makes me happy and I hope you will enjoy sharing my love of it. I want it to help lift your spirits and hearts through what can only be described as 'the trials and tribulations of the adoption process.' Along with my desire to be a family, I love my dogs, have an unhealthy love of sausages and chenin blanc, adore my land rover uber-nerd of a husband and continiously dream of balmy summer evenings. Baking in progress…..

Tuesday, 30 July 2013

You have mail......

Inbox (1)
Sigh....." Your Amazon order has been dispatched"
Eye Roll.

Friday, 26 July 2013

There's no business like show business......

How many times can one realistically click the refresh button on your emails before it is deemed obsessive. Really, just another Groupon offer? There are no emails from Miss Delia. But what I do find amongst my lottery ticket confirmations and amazon customer recommendations (always worrying!)  is a very exciting email asking me to contribute to an adoption related charity project. I can't say too much right now but... Ooh...I hear you say. Secretive. Always works wonders in the marketing world. All I can say is 'watch this space baking tin. When will I, will I be famous. La la laa la la laa la laa.  Well, we've made our first kiddie purchase. A cute little wardrobe suited to any flavour. Ok, so the knobs are technically pink  but these can be changed at the last minute if need be. I can tell this is all slowly starting to feel real for LRUN. I mean, he is willingly doing DIY without huffing on about how it's cutting into his Land Rover time. It really touched my soul when I found him voluntarily stripping the wallpaper in the little one's bedroom. So now, I no longer keep that door closed and just pass by on the landing. Now, I find myself standing in the doorway and imagining where the furniture will go. Wall stickers? An owl theme? Bunting?  Everyone loves bunting. Ooh the choices! I'm also planning a list of kiddie friendly bakes. Top of my list so far has to be these One Bowl Banana Muffins. We also found ourselves on the Adoption Theraplay course this week, which Miss Delia booked us on.  A course to help you tune into your adoptive child's emotions and how to help them communicate through play. What an amazing course and I cannot recommend it enough. Heartbreaking and intense at times but at the same time, pure brilliant fun. It was great to see Little Miss Rainbow again and catch up on their exciting news about their little girl who is joining them shortly. She showed me a photo and oh, she is the most scrumptious little thing. They are so excited and it's wonderful to witness this. I wonder when we will feel that excitement? That buzz. I contemplate sending Miss Delia another email, asking if she had any news? It seems pointless as we all know that if she did have any news, she would be contacting us. But maybe, just maybe, there is literally something in the pipe-line and by me emailing her, it may just trigger her to tell us about it. Will this make me look needy? Probably. But she said it was ok to email her. She did. So I click 'send'

One Bowl Wonder

Wednesday, 10 July 2013

Still browsing.....

I felt strangely nervous before Miss Delia arrived. Less concerned about the housework (or lack thereof) but surprisingly unsettled. I guess its because I hoped deep down that today she may just have some news for us. The dogs greeted her with open paws like a long lost friend. But my heart sank when I realised that she only had her usual notepad with her. That and her cute little floral Cath Kidston glasses case. There was clearly no sign of a CPR (aka a child report belonging to a little one up for placement) No tell tale bulging paperwork. Just her flimsy A4 lined workbook. She continued to make small talk about the programme on TV about the secret lives of cats (Come on Miss Delia, the dog is looking more excited then me here) But it wasn't long before she confirmed that they still had no match for us. I sipped my tea quietly and tried to be cool and composed. I daren't make eye contact with LRUN as I feared my bottom lip would go. On a positive spin.....you know me..always after that silver sparkly lining....we had been considered for a couple of little ones but they weren't sure if we were the right parents for them. It was heartbreaking to hear these little ones stories. One little boy been left to coming within an inch of literally starving to death. That poor little soul. Come to me. I will feed you. He was now developing well physically but he was emotionally scarred and traumatised and Miss Delia was not sure if this was right for me at the moment.  They have also seen the light (yes, really) and so are now not ruling out those little ones with a parent in the town closest to us. Provided of course, there was no real security risk. But this is a big step for them as it has always been such a big no-no. Even though this was good news, I struggled to hide my disappointment from Miss Delia. Nothing goes unnoticed with her (she even noticed our new family wagon in the driveway) She told me to go the shops and stand in the nappy aisle. Look at whats out there. Go to Mothercare...look at the car seats, cot beds etc. So I did. It felt good. Heck, I may even pass by the home baking aisle too and get some baking inspiration. I'm dreaming of something summery. Maybe a Blueberry Lemon Tray Bake?

Morsels of Summer

Wednesday, 3 July 2013

New Horizons.....

I am thinking of printing myself a T-shirt saying, "No, I don't have any feckin' news!" I think friends, colleagues and family are now starting to appreciate just how slow this process actually is and they are getting so impatient. It's quite funny to witness really. I've been through that impatient phase (ok...ok...who am I kidding...I am still so very much in it) but I have just got so used to this snail pace. Slow motion. Tortoise fever.  I do worry myself silly though that I can barely remember to buy dog food these days, so how on earth am I going to pick up the pace and look after a toddler? But you know, I am getting good at this mummy multi-tasking thing. Just this weekend, I was rowing a boat on the river on a hen-do whilst simultaneously sipping pink champagne and talking about the highs and low's of motherhood with some good friends. Result.
Plus,  there are new things on the horizon. Miss Triple A invited me and Mrs Fraig to her local adoption support group. I was a bit apprehensive about going without a babba but she assured me it would be fine. And it was more than fine. They were all so lovely and made me and Mrs Fraig feel super welcome and relaxed. Driving home along the country roads in my new mummy chariot, it felt good to be part of that circle. I saw how happy they all were, the unconditional support they gave each other and most importantly, how special and sparkly their little ones were. This feels so right. The only snag was... all I could think about was cake. We need cake at these meetings. Perhaps I'll surprise them all next month. Fancy some Coffee Streusel Muffins?