About Me

This blog is about me and my voyage to becoming a mummy. Ironically called “mummy in the baking” as together with my passion and obsession for all things cake related, I will never be able to have my own "bun in the oven." Years of fertility treatment have taken their toll and I now find myself on a new..eek, i hate this word...journey! The crazy train to adoption. I hope you will join me while I bake my way to becoming a mummy. I want this blog to be a source of information as well as a comforter. I hope it will inspire and help anyone who is considering adoption or who has in fact already bought their ticket for this..here I go again...journey. Cake makes me happy and I hope you will enjoy sharing my love of it. I want it to help lift your spirits and hearts through what can only be described as 'the trials and tribulations of the adoption process.' Along with my desire to be a family, I love my dogs, have an unhealthy love of sausages and chenin blanc, adore my land rover uber-nerd of a husband and continiously dream of balmy summer evenings. Baking in progress…..

Friday, 24 January 2014

A glass of whine.....

LBM has a new approach to his daily desires. Whining. The tears I can handle but geesh, this whining pulls at a whole new set of heartstrings I didn't even know I had. And he knows that. I tried to explain to him last night that the only whine we were allowed in this house was Sauvignon blanc. I'm not sure he got it. So I have two approaches. One is to ignore it which doesn't seem to work. The second is a hard stare off until one of us burst into giggles. I fear this too doesn't really curb the issue but it's kinda fun. On a positive note, his constant demands for food are slowly getting better. LRUN had an epiphany and suggested that when we get home at a difficult time, I should go in through the front door, thereby bypassing the kitchen. This seems to have worked a treat. However, let's not delve into the incident at toddlers this week when he stole all the other kids food at snack time. "Weeps gently."

Miss Delia is due today and rings the bell just as LBM is stirring from his afternoon nap. I make her a quick cuppa tea and cut her a big fat wedge of Victorian sponge. I find myself simultaneously apologising that it may not be my best as I had to make it with a toddler hanging off my leg. Hopefully the lightly scented orange buttercream and sticky raspberry jam oozing from the middle will save it. She tells me to stop apologising. It is in fact delicious. I bring LBM downstairs. He is subdued.  Very subdued. He did have a busy morning at toddlers so maybe he is still knackered?  He is very quiet. After 20min, he suddenly has an instant meltdown and screams the house down.  I try everything to distract him but it's fruitless. In desperation, Miss Delia tries all her 'let's stop the baby crying' techniques but it only makes it worse. He buries his face in my chest and continues to cry for a very long time. So I just hold him. Closely. I eventually try my last ditch attempt of bringing the dogs in and he finally starts to settle. I wonder if he associates her and her meetings with him being moved on again. Or maybe I am reading too much into it. Miss Delia is strangely pleased that he is seeking comfort from me but at the same time I can sense her concerns. "How will you cope with another little one when he clearly needs all of you right now. " she asks. "Same as everyone else in this world copes with more than one child" I say.  "Yes but there is only 11 months between them?" She says she thinks it is too soon for us to take Jelly-tot on but she will support us in whatever decision we make. I tell her I am not prepared to make a decision until we have received her CPR. Despite endless requests to Miss Scarlett, she has still not sent it to us. Miss Delia makes a quick phone call and it's sorted. Out for postage tomorrow. Simples. Tummy Mummy is contesting the court order anyway, so we have a bit more time. Five min before she leaves, LBM perks up. Whizzing around on his walker, waving goodbye. Smiling. But there are further tears throughout the evening and by bed time, he is exhausted. He falls into a deep slumber. It's been an emotional day for him.

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