About Me

This blog is about me and my voyage to becoming a mummy. Ironically called “mummy in the baking” as together with my passion and obsession for all things cake related, I will never be able to have my own "bun in the oven." Years of fertility treatment have taken their toll and I now find myself on a new..eek, i hate this word...journey! The crazy train to adoption. I hope you will join me while I bake my way to becoming a mummy. I want this blog to be a source of information as well as a comforter. I hope it will inspire and help anyone who is considering adoption or who has in fact already bought their ticket for this..here I go again...journey. Cake makes me happy and I hope you will enjoy sharing my love of it. I want it to help lift your spirits and hearts through what can only be described as 'the trials and tribulations of the adoption process.' Along with my desire to be a family, I love my dogs, have an unhealthy love of sausages and chenin blanc, adore my land rover uber-nerd of a husband and continiously dream of balmy summer evenings. Baking in progress…..

Wednesday, 1 January 2014

Go back to the start, do not collect £200....

We have a few days just me and the LBM. I do everything he wants and expects and when he wants and expects. I need him to trust me. LRUN is around but only for the fun stuff. I do everything else and it seems to be working. He is slowly starting to settle. Very slowly. Apart from when he's chasing me round the kitchen with his walker. He does that a rapid pace.

Miss Delia arrives and the dogs are so excited to see her, they go crazy. Laddering tights crazy. I pop the kettle on while inwardly cringing that I don't even have any cake to offer her. What is happening? We settle down and she asks how Christmas went? We are brutally honest with her. That we have had better Christmases. She looks sad. We talk about LBM's emotional distress. She is concerned but at the same time overwhelmed at how far he has developed in the 5 weeks we have had him. She says it's almost as if he has 'woken up.' I'm not surprised I say....woken up from a formula induced coma perhaps. She assures us we are doing everything right and that cancelling the family visit was definitely the right move. He plays quietly while we talk, regularly coming to me for assurance and kisses. He even lets LRUN play games with him. The moment she leaves, he bursts into tears. Here we go again. But we explain we will see Miss Delia again soon and he does settle.

Each day, we progress a little further. The weather is driving me crazy and the endless photos on the book of faces of friends back home enjoying the festive season with their little ones outside and in the sun pulls at my heart-strings. This is tough. But I have to make it work. This is my home now.
The Fraigs are coming round for a visit tomorrow. I warn them there is no cake. They may have to make do with a Tesco biscuit. Scandalous.

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