About Me

This blog is about me and my voyage to becoming a mummy. Ironically called “mummy in the baking” as together with my passion and obsession for all things cake related, I will never be able to have my own "bun in the oven." Years of fertility treatment have taken their toll and I now find myself on a new..eek, i hate this word...journey! The crazy train to adoption. I hope you will join me while I bake my way to becoming a mummy. I want this blog to be a source of information as well as a comforter. I hope it will inspire and help anyone who is considering adoption or who has in fact already bought their ticket for this..here I go again...journey. Cake makes me happy and I hope you will enjoy sharing my love of it. I want it to help lift your spirits and hearts through what can only be described as 'the trials and tribulations of the adoption process.' Along with my desire to be a family, I love my dogs, have an unhealthy love of sausages and chenin blanc, adore my land rover uber-nerd of a husband and continiously dream of balmy summer evenings. Baking in progress…..

Wednesday, 1 June 2016

The F word.....

Miss Delia finally drops his Life Story book off and while he keeps himself at a safe distance, she asks how things are going on the food front. I'm honest and upfront with her and decide to tell her the truth. It is still a major stress and a daily battle but things are slowly improving. We have come so very far and I have to keep reminding myself of that. So I try and look for the positives:

He will now leave the table during meal times to use the toilet (rather than simply pee on the ever hopeful dog lurking under the table for the scraps. Scraps, which incidentally never materialise.
He will now wait in a restaurant for his food to arrive without screaming.
He  will now put his hands or fork down (albeit only for a nano second) in between mouthfuls.

But there are still a number of hills to climb:
Like allowing me to leave the kitchen while cooking supper. Lord help me if I leave the room or heck, even dare to sit down.
Like knowing when to stop eating and drinking. He honestly has no 'full button.' Mealtimes last no longer than 5 min.  It is a stress for me and something I have found very little support for. Every other mum I know has the opposite problem. Wishing their kids would be like LBM and just "hurry up and eat everything on their plate!" Of course I want him to eat. Just not all the time. And not at that speed.  I have tried continuously providing mountains of food to perhaps take away the novelty factor. Let's just say it didn't end well. Perhaps I should have persevered but I honestly just could not sit back and witness it. It was frightening.

I so don't want to make a big issue of food and always try and remain as calm as possible, whatever the situation.  I come from a very sociable family who love food and the joy of meal times. Sadly now, parties and buffets are my nemesis and take a varying degree of anxiety management. He gets extremely anxious around mealtimes and it's a long ongoing battle to try and calm him.

We try and cook together so he can start to understand that food takes time and love to prepare. This does help somewhat and if anything, I really hope we have the next MasterChef champion here. 

He is unbelievably motivated and comforted by food. Food makes him feel safe. But we are battling on and just having to go with our gut instincts. We have come such a long way and I am so very proud of him. There really is just no support out there. Well, perhaps there is. And I just haven't found it.

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