About Me

This blog is about me and my voyage to becoming a mummy. Ironically called “mummy in the baking” as together with my passion and obsession for all things cake related, I will never be able to have my own "bun in the oven." Years of fertility treatment have taken their toll and I now find myself on a new..eek, i hate this word...journey! The crazy train to adoption. I hope you will join me while I bake my way to becoming a mummy. I want this blog to be a source of information as well as a comforter. I hope it will inspire and help anyone who is considering adoption or who has in fact already bought their ticket for this..here I go again...journey. Cake makes me happy and I hope you will enjoy sharing my love of it. I want it to help lift your spirits and hearts through what can only be described as 'the trials and tribulations of the adoption process.' Along with my desire to be a family, I love my dogs, have an unhealthy love of sausages and chenin blanc, adore my land rover uber-nerd of a husband and continiously dream of balmy summer evenings. Baking in progress…..

Tuesday 5 March 2013

Going bananas with Miss Delia......
It's the most beautiful sunny spring day and with a bounce in my bosom-supported step (yup I'm feeling young again) we welcome Miss Delia into our home for one last session of home study. Feeling positive, I had whipped up a scrummy banana loaf with the added feel good factor of wholemeal flour and carefully lay four tantalising slices on the coffee table in front of her. It turns out to be an incredibly intensive meeting and we spend nearly 3 hours talking about disorders we would consider including foetal alcohol syndrome, drug abuse, mental health problems etc. As we break for me to make another much needed cup of tea, she lunges (yes...you heard me....lunges!) forward and grabs a piece of banana bread and I hear her say to LRUN, "Gosh this is really delicious" I grin like the proverbial Cheshire and instinctively do a little dance in the kitchen and hope no-ones looking apart from the dog. We talk alot about the matching process and how long it takes...around three months from when they first show you a profile until you actually get to meet the little angel. (Once again, Dear Mr. Cameron....please explain) She wraps up the session with the good news that she is still aiming to take us to panel to be approved as adopters in April. The subject of my husbands commuting will continue to be an issue to deal with after that. She asks me if I had considered how different things would be with a child with us....seriously Miss Delia, I have thought about nothing else. Everything I do now, I find myself thinking about how this would be with a little one in tow. I no longer blank the contents of the shelves in the baby aisle, I now even allow myself to look at the bedding for kiddy-winks in John Lewis. I need to tread carefully, as I have been here once before. With a pregnancy where the closer we got to the first scan, the more I allowed myself to believe and I stupidly allowed myself to believe that it was ok to buy my first mother and baby magazine. Sadly that pregnancy ended in a devastating 'no heartbeat' situation and I had to come home and toss that magazine into the recycling bin. I vowed never to do go there again.  So, this is emotionally a huge step for me. I am allowing myself to get excited about this. Oh please let this happen this year. I don't think I can face another Christmas playing Santa for the dog. ;-)

Wholemeal Banana Loaf

4 comments:

  1. Looking forward to reading more about your journey to meet your little angel. That banana loaf looks yummie ;-)

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  2. I just LOVE your writing Ally - you have such talent!

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  3. Wow, alot of this brings back some memories, happy and sad. The whole Christmas thing get tedious to say the least. I wont say anything patronising like 'hang in there, it will happen'. I hated that. However as I watched return of the Jedi today, I sincerely hope the force is with you, good luck, keep writing - it helped me.

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  4. Best of luck on your, uhmm, journey.
    Looking forward to reading all about it.

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