About Me

This blog is about me and my voyage to becoming a mummy. Ironically called “mummy in the baking” as together with my passion and obsession for all things cake related, I will never be able to have my own "bun in the oven." Years of fertility treatment have taken their toll and I now find myself on a new..eek, i hate this word...journey! The crazy train to adoption. I hope you will join me while I bake my way to becoming a mummy. I want this blog to be a source of information as well as a comforter. I hope it will inspire and help anyone who is considering adoption or who has in fact already bought their ticket for this..here I go again...journey. Cake makes me happy and I hope you will enjoy sharing my love of it. I want it to help lift your spirits and hearts through what can only be described as 'the trials and tribulations of the adoption process.' Along with my desire to be a family, I love my dogs, have an unhealthy love of sausages and chenin blanc, adore my land rover uber-nerd of a husband and continiously dream of balmy summer evenings. Baking in progress…..

Thursday, 12 December 2013

In the flesh.......

It's the day of our first official Review Meeting. I'm on the phone to Miss Blue Eyes catching up with her bump news while simultaneously panic dusting anything I can in the house. They are due any minute and all I have to offer them is the last of the Gingerbread Loaf. It's such a good recipe though. It just gets better each day. Each day you can avoid eating it that is. They arrive early. Hmmm...are they trying to catch me out? Probably. But it all goes well. We talk about Jellytot.  They tell me Tummy Mummy has requested the siblings are placed together. I am amazed she even has this right. I tell them we are still not ready to make this decision and they are very understanding. They assure me they will cast the final decision. This is a very sensitive case and Tummy Mummy is not in a good place right now. LBM manages to remain asleep for the entire meeting. This is obviously not overly helpful in assessing how he is settling in but the social workers do their best to assure the chairman all is going well.

We venture back to the local toddler group and his little face lights up as we enter the room. He knows where we are.  I've realised recently that its all about familiar things for him. He loves his walks down by the marina. Not because of the fresh air or the shipping activity. But because it's familiar. He knows what to expect. We have to leave early as the health visitor is coming round. He's starting to get a little grumpy as we are slowly encroaching into his lunchtime. He tolerates her. (Only just....there is a lot of toy throwing and he has some kind of weird fascination with her furry boots!)   When she asks that he gets naked to be weighed, he goes into a complete meltdown. It might have something to do with her comment of how big his thighs are but to be fair, if I was expecting lunch and instead you want me to be in the nude and on a set of scales, I am pretty sure I wouldn't be happy. He is so distressed, I have never seen him like this. In some kind of strange comforting way, this is re-assuring to know he is expressing this emotion. He won't even let me re-dress him. He is inconsolable. I bring the dogs in to distract him and it works. He starts to calm down a smidgen and I manage to get one layer of clothing on him. He is emotionally exhausted. But after a long awaited lunch and a good sleep, he embraces a much happier afternoon. We have reached a whole new level this week. I can honestly say there is a strong bond happening here. But he is definitely missing LRUN. They haven't seen each other awake since Sunday. But it's poets day tomorrow so daddy will be home in time for bedtime. Hurrah!

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